Moments
by TheRoseandtheDagger
Summary: A prequel to One Moment. Its never truly one moment that starts it, many moments lead up to it


Moments

 _I have no rights to Naruto._

 _Enjoy._

x-x

x-x-

The first time it happened they were drunk. The second time, and the third.

Then they were tipsy, only a few drinks nothing to truly impair judgement but now there was no excuses. Nothing to blame, and nothing to stop all the wondrous feelings that had previously been diluted by alcohol.

As he pulled her shorts down her legs and gave any skin he could reach open mouthed kisses, she pulled his shoulders, grasped his head and begged, actually begged him to make her come or to move so she could make him come.

The dark chuckle did things to her insides that shouldn't be allowed, a hand covering her mouth as he stood to lift and brace her against the wall as he hooked her leg around him and sank himself into her body. Her muffled moan was accompanied by his throat deep grumble, teeth biting her shoulder, as they both adjusted, breathed and felt.

And then he moved, hand hard on her hip, other hand muffling her groans of pleasure as he latched his mouth to her shoulder. Angle adjusted as the slapping of skin got too loud, shallow and quick becoming hard and deep. Her free hands clenching his shoulders urging him to speed up, that time was running out. Eyes rolling back she barely felt the pain as teeth drew blood and with one final frenzied thrust they both released with muffled groans.

As she was placed on her feet and a large hand helped her right her clothes and wipe away the evidence of their releases from her body, Sakura ran a glowing Chakra laden hand over Ibiki's shoulders healing the cuts and scratches she had inflicted. Rising up on her toes to meet the slightest inclination of Ibiki's head; a look she felt and he never alluded to, perhaps looking for a kiss.

No, Sakura thought, as he barely brushed a hand down her arm and left her office; this was no longer a series of drunken hook-ups. It was much more and it was both thrilling and terrifying.

-x-

Intelligence was coming in hot and heavy, new reports needed to be scrutinised and Shinobi assigned to gather new leads.

But Sakura could not help the frown on her face as she took in the sight of Morino Ibiki as he reported to the Godaime. He was starting to look gaunt, skin pale and eyes sunken, and give it another day or two, and she was certain the circles under his eyes would rival Gaara's.

Jotting down notes for her Shishou was second nature but medic sharp eyes scanned her lover with worry and when he turned and left with barely a glance her way she handed the finished summarisation to Tsunade and left as ordered, flying down the stairs until she caught up with him.

A quick glance to ensure privacy and she pulled him into a thankfully empty office.

Lips descended on hers, Ibiki's large hands fisting her hair as he kissed her, making her moan and lose her train of thought before a chakra filled slap to his shoulder made him draw back.

If he hadn't been so pale and exhausted the confusion on his face would have been cute Sakura thought before he gruffly bit out. "What was that for?"

"Hospital now!, your dead on your feet."

Defeated was the only word Sakura could think of when Ibiki looked down on her, his dark eyes themselves exhausted as he sighed loudly. "I don't have the time Sakura."

"Ibiki' your-"

"You heard the Hokage. I have to get back to work." Ibiki turned and walked out the door, shutting it softly as Sakura narrowed her eyes in worry.

Hours later when Ibiki finally opened the door to his apartment, he immediately realised that someone else had been there. A split second later, a deep breath and he relaxed as the scented body wash Sakura only ever used when not on an active mission filled his nostrils. Shoulders slumped in disappointment when making his way through his apartment he realised she was no longer there but keen eyes took in all the little things that had changed.

The pile of dishes were gone from the sink, the dirty clothes that he kept putting into the machine to wash but then piled on the ground when he had to abandon due to work were folded on the sofa, and running a calloused hand over them showed them clean and still al little warm form the dryer. The open planned kitchen, dining, living room allowed him a quick survey and making his way to the fridge he was grateful to see that none of the files on his table had been touched apart from a note to check the fridge on top of the highest pile. Stomach grumbling at the reminder he gratefully grabbed the protein bar left with the note and did as told, eyes taking in the bento boxes and fruit that would last a few days before going off.

Grateful and more than exhausted Ibiki swallowed the bar, barely chewing as he towed off his boots and making his way to his bedroom stripped off his clothes, coat landing on the sofa, sweater, pants and socks landing on the foot of the bed. Pulling back the sheets took nearly too much effort but the clean fresh sheets felt like a sensory gift as he lay down. He barely formed the thought to thank Sakura before he passed out with exhaustion, unknowing that in barely four hours an ANBU would wake him up again.

-xx-

She did it. The last of her naïve foolish innocence was truly gone.

The beast within, the darkness that covered his heart, his soul. The part that at times let him enjoy his work roared in satisfaction. Her soul was as dark as his now. She was closer to becoming like him which meant no more guilt, he was no longer sullying the innocent apprentice, no more excuses for the sex between them. She needed it as much as him, she was as dark as him.

But the beast stopped roaring and Ibiki's heart clenched making him rub his chest to relieve it. Her innocence was gone. She now truly saw all aspects of Shinobi life, the world was no longer simple, it was a kaleidoscope of greys and they were truly monsters.

Before he realised what he was doing he was by her side, holding back her hair as she vomited and cried into the toilet, when finally nothing was left he picked her up, a towel roughly wiping her face clean and brought her to her bed.

"Stay. Don't go. Hold me. Please."

Small hands had the strength of mountains as Ibiki found himself literally pulled onto the bed before he could say a word. The feel of her body latching on to his and burrowing it's way in deep halting his protests, she was warm and soft with a core of steel and the beast within him purred. Purred at her warmth and smell, like a great cat basking in the sun he felt it relax, his hands wrapping around her as she cried for the innocent people she had killed, for the small children she had left to die.

Because she was a shinobi, she was talented and now, she was fully in his world, the darkness and pain, where innocence fled and was replaced with cynicism and reality. Where Shinobi were not just serving and protecting their village but killing innocents to keep their secrets and at the whim of the Hokage.

The beast purred and Ibiki closed his eyes. He had never stayed the night with any woman before, but unlike others he had never been fucking the same one for weeks, never felt comfortable, never sought her out when sober, was never gentle.

She would understand now, she was like him. You were ordered and you did. No matter how you felt, how tired, how fed up.

You were ordered and you did.

-x-

It had opened the fold gates.

When before they had simply gone to the other's home to fuck and then leave, or fall into a drunken sleep after sex, then wake up disorientated to flee, now they seemed to just turn up at the other's home. Sakura going to his apartment to leave food had been unprecedented, his lack of anger but gratefulness would have been worrying apart from the fact he had been too damn tired to feel anything else.

Hokage's orders could be advantageous Ibiki thought as he thumbed through the stack of files Sakura had been ordered to bring to him, his free hand playing with her nipple and caressing the smooth skin of her breast as she lightly dozed next to him on the couch. The files he had simply yanked out of her hands to drop on the ground before literally tearing the clothes from her body and doing his best to ensure she screamed and moaned. Each cry and whimper making the darkness within purr, and when she had drenched his cock in her cum, he had roared and felt a deep sated righteous as he filled her body with his cum.

The peace and ability to breathe after had gone soul deep.

A fact and feeling he choose to ignore as he lifted the file to read knowing that in a few hours he would simply lift the pink haired Kuniochi next to him up in his arms to move her to his bed. She would ask to stay. She would say please. And he could not refuse her.

It had happened the last few times, at her place or his, and he couldn't stop his complience.

A part of him didn't want to and it scared him.

-x-x

"We want the information from your personally."

Ibiki raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

More and more. Shorter timeframes and tighter deadlines. His eyes burned and head pounded but he refused to take any more painkillers, the road to addiction was just a few short pills away, his body needed a break.

His body also needed a workout, the lack of hard weights and pushing his body to the limits nagging at him. But he was ordered and he did.

Interrogation room 1. Interrogation room 2. Interrogation room 3…4…5…6.

Debrief the squads.

Gather the intel and meet the Hokage and Council to discuss his findings.

Take notes and follow his new orders.

Coffee and more coffee.

A half thought extinguished before even mentally voiced. _"I'm tire-."_

His hands shook at one point and he realised it had been nearly 30 hours since he had slept. But the report was needed in two hours. Blood stained hand leaving a mark on his cheek as he scratched a particularly itch scar he took a solider pill, re-read his notes and shook himself.

A roar had an ANBU entering his office, Ibiki scowling furiously as the Shinobi took a step back at the sight of him. Growling he threw the notes over barking an order to read and double check before he put his head to finish the second last report.

20 minutes to go, the report was finished, Ibiki ready to collapse and the alarm for ANBU seeking assistance blared through the building.

All hands on deck.

Ibiki stood, dry swallowing another solider pill and headed down the hall.

-x-x

She was tired but she felt a need.

Not for sex, as much as she enjoyed it but simply a need for him. To see him, feel his arms, touch him, smell him. It was strange and exhilarating, and it scared her. Scared her; for admitting the feelings she was developing would be suicide. Suicide in a relationship that they hadn't actually discussed out loud.

Opening the door the smell of blood hit her.

Panic filled her, and looking around her eyes took in the bloodied footsteps and the large unmoving form of Ibiki sitting on the low coffee table. In an instant she was crouched down by his side.

"Ibiki! What happened? Where are you hurt?"

"It's not mine."

The words should have soothed her but the tone sent chills down her spine. Dead. His voice was dead. Looking up into his dark eyes she saw the same look, blinking furiously to stop tears as her heart constricted in pain and fear.

"Ibiki are you okay?" Gently. She coaxed and spoke as if she was treating a viper and at that moment a viper might have been less dangerous.

"It's not my blood."

A hand on his shoulder, a palm immediately covered in blood. Sakura ignored the feel of it, the medic in her filing it away as she moved to crouch down before Ibiki, hands sliding down his arms to hold his blood covered hands.

"Ibiki, what happened?"

"Interroagtions. Lots of them."

Sakura opened her mouth and closed it. With age had come tact, and the most important skill - when to shut the hell up and listen. But that could be done as she helped him.

"Come on Ibiki, let's get cleaned up."

He was like a lost little lamb, following her to the bathroom without protest. A very tall, very bloody, very dangerous lamb. But he followed her directions. Stripped and stood into the shower, moved over when she joined him and didn't even try to touch her when she pressed her naked body against his to turn on the water. Dark red water ran down his body, pink bubbles as she used his body wash to clean his skin, the spray of water soothing and as she directed his face to meet the spray it was cleansing. Washing away his sins.

Sakura was methodical, body wash – limb – bubbles-rinse-cleaned. She was soft handed and efficient, the blood having soaked through his clothes leaving a layer on his skin that went from dark red to pink as the water swept it down the drain. Finally the water ran clear.

Shower off and Ibiki dried, Sakura simply brought him to bed, the groan of the mattress echoing though the quietness of the room as he lay down while she pulled up the duvet. Quicker than a snake Ibiki wrapped his hand around her wrist, her breath catching in her throat at the suddenness of it, the change in the automated response, and once again a chills down her spine as he said.

"Stay."

Devoid of emotion but saying a thousand things.

She had no decision to make as Ibiki simply moved and pulled her down to join him, rearranging the duvet and pillows to settle her against him. Skin to skin, holding her as close as humanly possible without squeezing the life out of her.

Minutes passed and listening to Ibiki's breathing started to lull Sakura into sleep when suddenly his arms tightened around her and he sighed heavily.

x-x-

"You need to eat." Sakura bit her tongue, holding her voice steady so it didn't come out as a whine but the need to keep at him until he actually ate, beating her down. Sheer will stopped her. Ibiki was not a man to be whined at or to take any such crap.

"Ibiki."

Crap that was pure 13 year old Sakura whine.

Sakura winced but sighed as the big man in front of her didn't react only sat staring at the same page that had been in his hands for ten minutes.

Finally, finally he huffed "Whatever".

Rolling her eyes she joked "Tempura?".

"Fine."

Half turned Sakura stopped, mouth falling open at his agreement. He hated tempura, absolutely hated it. Their relationship might be based more on physicality and intimacy than sharing each other's lives but they knew enough about each other to say it was morphing into something, and Sakura knew Ibiki loathed tempura. Licking her lips she gave Ibiki one last look; unmoving and lost in his own thoughts, before she went to the kitchen deciding plain noodles and protein rich meat would be easier and quicker to cook, as well as suiting Ibiki better.

x-x-

Sex.

Thank Kami she was a medic and had inhuman strength even without chakra, otherwise she would have been one gigantic bruise. It was fantastic, unbelievable, amazing; as naïve and stupid as it was to say it, she had never had sex as great before sex with Ibiki.

But she was cataloguing injuries like she was on a mission, not to say Ibiki got away scot free but the handprints and hickeys she had peppering her body would bring a lot of questions if seen in the light of day. As would Ibiki's scratches and fingermarks.

But after, after the amazing sex, once they had caught their breath, after Ibiki would groan and growl before leaving to get back to work, Sakura worried. The touches and soft kisses, the gentle words or downright dirty talk lessened, replaced by a quietness and stillness that had her tilt her head at him before he began to kiss her forward after each time.

x-x

The first time he was actually drunk. The second time-tipsy. The third time he was cold stone sober and relished simply losing himself in her, for those scant few moments he was not the Head of torture and Interrogation, he did not have dozens of responsibilities, hundreds of lives depending on him. He was simply a man and she was a woman. A woman who even drunk could still send him flying out of Konoha with a single punch if landed right.

Then she was sober and it was no longer drunken hook ups. They sought each other out; they made each other feel good. She was strung up with tension and stress - he made her scream in orgasm until she was boneless and sated. She returned the favour but added in amazing back and shoulder massages that nearly sent him to sleep.

She became his respite. The brief escape if only for a few hours.

Then the barrier came down and they were at each other apartments, dropping in at eachother office with notes and files. Nothing overly couply to send him to the hills or scare her but more of a reassurance.

Then he saw her at her worst, and she saw him at his.

Then she saw the hours he would lose, lost in nothingness, listening to the darkness, emptiness clawing inside him. Emerald eyes would fill his vision, warm hands bringing him back to reality, the darkness inside purring and reaching for her and he let it. He would fall into her body like salvation, her screams and tears giving him relief, not stopping until she collapsed from exhaustion- an astounded smile and deep boned satisfaction giving her a glow.

He did not feel guilt when he traced the bruises and marks on her skin, only satisfaction, sighing when she did the same.

She was his respite but she became his addiction.

x-x

Ino found her curled up on her bed. Tears still trailing done her cheeks but the loud messy crying had stopped, this was actually more worrying. Curling into the blonde Sakura tried to make sense of it but couldn't, none of it made sense. The words rolled through her mind.

 _Leave._

 _What? Ibiki?_

 _Leave_

 _Why?_

 _Its done, we are done._

 _Ibiki, you're not-_

 _Enough! Just go Sakura. We're through._

 _What – Wh-_

 _She had stopped. Listened and breathed, refused to let the tears fall. Stillness enveloped her and after several moments she turned and left._

It was the first time she had ever seen Ibiki not composed not truly thinking before he spoke. Words that did not makes sense; respite, satisfaction, addiction. In the end he had left and not returned for hours, he waited for her to leave.

x-x

The nothingness grew. Snatches of time lost and he didn't care. Food was ash in his mouth, simply fuel so he could carry out his orders.

The darkness and beast inside him quietening, slumbering, he felt sleepy, lost.

The shouts from the Elders rolled over him like water, taking notes and leaving the room in silence at his abrupt departure.

His captain's stopping when he ordered them to organise their own rotas.

Yamanaka once asked him if he was okay but even he took a step back at the dead eyes that looked back at him from Ibiki's face, and never asked again.

The nothingness grew, the whispers and stories reached his ears.

Now and then he would see a flash of pink and for a brief moment the nothingness would receded, but he could not be weak, addiction was a slippery slope and he took that hope that needed and pushed it down so deep that the nothingness laughed and rejoiced.

He was tired, and then it was just easier to give in.

x-x

He wouldn't talk to her, he didn't avoid her but when he passed her he looked right through her.

Once or twice she thought she saw a flash of recognition, of want in his eyes only for him to blink and leave her looking at dead eyes.

She was proud and refused to trail after him like her teenage self had after Sasuke but her eyes automatically followed him.

She saw the weight fall off him, the circles under his eyes deepen, heard the stories of his interrogations, his interaction with ANBU. Stories circulated and while in jest of how scary he was previous mutterings of soulless and demon possession became common. Walking in the streets or after he passed Shinobi and civilians alike took no care to be quiet calling him the bogey man, threatening misbehaving children with him.

Days became weeks and after one gruelling afternoon, Tsunade simply turned to Sakura and Shizune, brow pinched and eyes narrowed before muttering. "Keep an eye on Morino Ibiki, try and get him in for a physical."

Another few weeks and two ANBU captain's came to Tsunade and her two subordinates looking for utmost confidentiality before expressing concern over their commander.

x-x

She had put the nausea down to slight depression, a sick feeling that all was not right, that she was heartbroken, or her ego bruised. She was an idiot. Looking at the blood tests and urine sample she sighed; a lead weight settling in her stomach. She wouldn't voice it, not aloud but it already looked and by her calculations was 3 months or more.

Suddenly instinct took over and she stood up, leaving coat and keys to run from office, door wide open as she ran. She could have used chakra, she could have used a Jutsu, hell she could have waited but need took over. Overwhelming and screaming through her body – find him, tell him.

His office was empty, she took no notice of the perplexed looks or tilted masks that questioned her presence in their territory that late at night , cared not for Anko's screams as she pushed the purple haired interrogator out of her way.

But his home was empty too. Breathing hard and with worry filling her Sakura turned, unable to stop the strangle scream that flew out of her mouth as she smacked into the ANBU captain of Team 1. The tall figure looking down at her, seconds passed and Sakura's breathing returned to normal.

"Ibiki, I need to find Ibiki."

She could feel the raised eyebrow behind his mask, the question as to why she called him so casually not asked but watched as he simply nodded. A sharp hand signal and three shadows burst out form the walls and ground taking to the roofs and disappearing into the night.

In deference to her, or simply to keep an eye on her the captain turned and waved her to walk alongside him, not a word spoken but nearly a hundred metres walked towards the Hokage's office when an ANBU landed on her feet without a sound, quickly whispering to her Captain.

Sakura bit her lip, heart pounding as in a millisecond the Captain stiffened and grasped her by the arm. Blinking she was in his arms and they flew through the air, barely touching the roof tiles, speed she could hardly reach, distance covered in seconds that would take her minutes.

Placed on her feet she wobbled, holding the Captain's arm for support before looking around and actually choking for a second before gulping in air. Her arm was squeezed tightly, bruising. ANBU disappearing from sight, but not from being able to help with one word.

"Calmly."

Ibiki stood atop the Hokage Mountain staring down at the village. He was barefoot and shirtless, the moonlight shining down on him, his scars and burns the most visible they had ever been in public. Sakura yearned to touch him but the utter nothingness on his face, the slumped shoulders scared her – he looked defeated.

Licking her lips she spoke softly. "I've been looking for you."

The tiniest start. He hadn't realised she was there, he barely blinked in acknowledgment and she fought back tears.

"We need to talk."

She prayed he was listening. This large, scarred man that had come out of nowhere and burrowed under her skin, she needed him, they both did and he needed them. Fear and trepidation filled her, she needed him but more than that she wanted him.

"You're going to be a father."

One word was all it took.

She saw him stiffen, saw his eyes flash and she hoped.

For Ibiki the nothingness was still there but it roared. Shock and disbelief flooded and drowned the numbness. Hefelt.

He turned to look at her, taking in the vulnerability and fear that rose from her. Her delicate features hiding a strength that took many's a breath away. He stepped closer, wide eyes filled with tears and he saw fear.

A fear that gave him hope.

Fear that she would be rejected, that he would not believe. Not fear of him.

He fell to his knees and she rushed to him. His hands held her out, grabbing her hips and holding her at arm's length. One hand settled on her stomach, trembled as he felt the hardness and miniscule curving that had not been there two months ago. He pulsed his Chakra, the tiny spark discovered brightening the darkness of his eyes in a way she had rarely seen even inside the hands squeezed her hips, painfully but she said not a word, her hands stroking his shoulders as she stood in the moonlight. He pulled her to him and rested his forehead on the curve. The nothingness was there, holding on as he questioned – could he do this, would he be able to, would –

"You're stronger then you think Ibiki."

She stood and he knelt, hours passed and dawn's light began to filter through the sky.

The nothingness had a foothold in his mind but Ibiki was focused on the heart beat within her body. The fast fluttering, a lifeline. Hope.

For Ibiki it took one word and one person – perhaps two. It gave him strength he didn't think he had anymore, the wish to fight and feel.

It gave him hope.

She gave him hope and strength, standing by his side as she expected and demanded he do for her. Equals. The eyes of his child would make all his pain and suffering worthwhile, his smile erasing any fear and sadness.

ANBU keeping silent vigil until the couple slowly moved and left the Hokage Mountain. Watching their Commander, safe guarding him from gossip and ridicule. Yes they needed him but more than that they were loyal to the man that never asked them to do what he would not, never dismissed their lives and understood.

They had all seen the life flare back into his eyes in that moment, and with quick glances had sworn to help however they could.

Though the knowledge of a mini Morino and Haruno was frightening for the future – in a good way.

x-x

x-x

 _Dia Duit,_

 _A prequel to One Moment. Hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you think – sorry for mistakes, too tired to spell check etc._

 _Lots of Love,_

 _TheRose &theDagger_


End file.
